


Opened Letters

by Fujiwara_no_Seimei



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-12
Updated: 2011-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-21 08:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/222928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fujiwara_no_Seimei/pseuds/Fujiwara_no_Seimei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world crashes down on Ivan Karelin when he learns that Edward has killed himself in prison.  Luckily, Kotetsu is there to comfort him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Dear Mr. Karelin,_

 _It is with great sadness that I announce to you the passing of our dear son Edward._

 _He committed suicide by hanging himself in his prison cell.  
We feel like you should be informed of the circumstances that led up to his death._

 _Eleven months ago, Edward escaped from prison and attempted to murder you. While Edward has not relayed the exact circumstances of the experience, he has told us time and again that you saved his life. Back when he was first incarcerated, his personality changed much like you’d expect and exactly how you saw him. He felt betrayed and became consumed with revenge, for lack of any true culprit to blame. When he returned to prison after his encounter with you, he changed again. He became reserved and introverted. He seemed very sad. We accepted this a positive change from his anger, but we were still very concerned._

 _When we asked him about his mood, he wouldn’t say much. He would mention you in passing, along with feelings of not being worthy, of being unforgivable. We got the impression he was humbled by your actions toward him, and felt like he hadn't deserved them because pf what he’d done._

 _We suggested he contact you, because we were sure you'd forgive him. But he'd shake his head, and once he said, "I can't write him back. I can't bring him down any more. He's rising so high without me." We didn't find out until after his passing that you'd been writing him letters every week. And that you'd only been doing it because he'd refused to take your phone calls. (Enclosed in this package are the letters you'd sent, as well as his partial attempts at replies that were, sadly, never sent to you.)_

 _In the days leading up to his death, his wardens report that he seemed to have settled into a calm mood, as if he had made peace with himself. We were all excited about this, and assumed it meant he was getting over his depression. But last Thursday, on the anniversary of the shooting that put him in jail, he was found hung by his own jumpsuit from rigging he seemed to have been inconspicuously collecting when he was let out for exercise or meals._

 _We are shocked and inexpressibly saddened that our son chose to end his own life. We feel like it was possible for him to recover from the injustices done to him. We wish that he had had the courage to reach out to you, or to anyone. We wanted to tell you how grateful we are that you continued to reach out to him, even when he continuously ignored you._

 _Though the circumstances are horrible, we feel that at least, because of you, he ended his life without hate and anger in his heart._

 _The funeral is on Tuesday, the 21st of October._

 _Best wishes to you in these dark moments, and with great sincerity–  
_

 

•••••

 

Kotetsu was the first one to hear the howling. Probably seasoned in the art of hearing distant crying because he'd raised a child, he jumped up from his exercise machine and ran into the locker room without telling anyone what he was doing, leaving the other heroes’ mouths gaping.

Ivan wasn't even on the bench when he found him- he was curled on the floor with his face in his hands and a damp letter.

"Origami–" Kotetsu said, heart broken at the howling, unfiltered sobs coming from the blond. He kneeled next to Ivan, wrapping his arms around him. Ivan was limp, let himself be limp, let Kotetsu hold him up. Kotetsu knew this kind of cry, the cry of someone who had just learned how cruel and brutal the world was, how _insane_ it was, how impossible it was to register recent events with what you'd previously understood the nature of the universe to be.

Kotetsu gathered the shuddering, wailing Ivan in his arms, leaned back against the lockers on the floor, and pulled Ivan close to his chest.

"It's okay," Kotetsu whispered, pressing his lips to Ivan's forehead. "It's okay. It'll be okay."  
Ivan couldn't stop bawling long enough to disagree out loud. So he just cried harder.

Neither of them had noticed Barnaby and Nathan peeking in through the door when they did, but the two had closed the door after only a moment, and turned around to inform the other hovering heroes that they should probably be left alone.

"What's going on?" Karina shouted.  
Barnaby shook his head. "Something seems to have happened to Ivan. Kotetsu is consoling him. We can find out the details later, if it's appropriate."

Ivan cried in Kotetsu's arms for another twenty minutes before Kotetsu spoke again.  
"Origami?” He said, after a pause, “ _Ivan,_ " he corrected, "can you try relaxing for a few minutes? You'll dry yourself out."  
But it was not time to relax, and so he continued crying.

After a few more minutes, Kotetsu shifted, his back aching from his position on the hard floor with a heavy young man in his lap. Kotetsu stroked Ivan's hair to try and take his mind off of the pain, remembering what it was like to comfort his baby girl after a nightmare.

They had been frequent after Tomoe died.

Kotetsu's eyes began to wander. He wondered what time it was, but couldn't check his watch because his left arm was around Ivan's back. He noticed Ivan's bag, open with clothes, sneakers, and a water bottle sticking out. On the bench, a small box, looking like it'd just been opened. Kotetsu imagined that the letter clutched in Ivan's hand must have come out of it.

He slid his arm up high enough to check his watch, careful not to let Ivan's weight fall from his grasp, and realized they must have been in there for about forty minutes. Kotetsu sighed. Ivan's sobs were getting quieter now, but feared that asking anything would just get him wailing again. So he leaned over, shifting Ivan's body forward with him, and swiped his fingers at Ivan's water bottle until it tipped forward and he could grab it properly.

"Drink," he said, nudging the boys hands with the bottle. Ivan quieted long enough to look at it, as if it were a word written in a foreign language.

"You'll dehydrate. It's just your water. Drink it. It'll feel good."

Ivan reconsidered the thing, tilting his head at it as he hiccuped little sobs back. Finally, he blinked and wrapped his fingers around it.  
Kotetsu flipped open the cap for him, because he wasn't sure if Ivan knew that his fingers still worked.

Ivan took two longs sips out of it, managing to spill a little on himself when he found his hands to be far weaker than he’d expected. Kotetsu took the bottle from Ivan, and didn’t laugh.

“I’m sorry,” Ivan said, voice scratchy and dry and low.  
“For what?” Kotetsu said, smiling small and warm.  
“Crying on you. Like a baby. Like this...” he began falling into a cycle of sobs again.  
Kotetsu gave his shoulders a jostle.  
“Hey,” he said, and Ivan looked up, surprised.  
“I was way older than you the last time I cried like a baby in someone’s arms.”  
Ivan looked down at the letter in his hands – past it, rather – just wherever he could look that wasn’t into Kotetsu’s eyes and at the ghost of the woman he’d cried over.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Kotetsu asked.  
Ivan paused for a minute, opened his mouth like he was going to be able to, but his face twisted up and he began crying again, burying his face in Kotetsu’s shirt.  
Kotetsu sighed and kissed Ivan’s head again, then plucked the letter from his hand– not that there had been any resistance left in the young man’s body.

Ivan shuddered, shoulders jerking into Kotetsu’s embrace as he tried to hold back the sobs, while the older man read through the letter. Ivan heard him put the letter down, and he was drawn into an even tighter hug. Kotetsu’s muscles were tight all around him, as if he were afraid Ivan might fall apart if his grasp loosened even a little bit.  
“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Bunny, I can’t come over tonight,” Kotetsu said into the phone pressed against his ear with his shoulder. His hands were occupied with a wok of rice and vegetables. “Eh? Because I have company. Atch–!” he cried, sticking his burnt thumb in his mouth. “No, I burnt myself. What? Fried rice. “

“Are you okay?” Ivan called from the couch.  
“I’m fine, I’m fine... ah... Bunny? What are you so grumpy about? What? Of course you are, I can hear it in your voice. Wha– hey!”  
Ivan had peered over the couch to witness Kotetsu’s bizarre argument with the phone.  
“Hung up on me,” he mumbled.  
“Did you have plans with Mr. Barnaby?” Ivan asked.  
“Ah, no!” Kotetsu said, waving his hands. “Sometimes we get together for dinner. Mostly because we don’t have any other friends. We spend most of the time arguing anyway.”  
Though it sounded like a rather unpleasant arrangement, Kotetsu smile was warm when he said it, and that warm smile came with him as he brought two trays of dinner over to the coffee table.

Ivan shimmied down to the floor and leaned over the table.  
“You can eat on the couch,” Kotetsu said. “I don’t care if you make a mess. I sure do.”  
Ivan shook his head. “If it’s okay, I’d rather sit on the floor.”  
Kotetsu shrugged.

 

Kotetsu used a remote to put on some brassy, inoffensive jazz music, and the two ate dinner in silence for a while.

•••••

Ten minutes later, Ivan cleared his throat.  
“Mr.Tiger,” Ivan said, shakily as he put down his fork. “What happens when I try to go to sleep tonight?”  
Kotetsu gave a quiet sigh. How to put this?  
“You probably wont fall asleep until tomorrow, Ivan.”  
Ivan looked up.  
“You’ll fall asleep when your body is tired enough of being awake and being sad.”

 

•••••

“It’s not fair,” Ivan cried into Kotetsu’s shirt. “I don’t understand why any of this had to happen to him in the first place!”  
Kotetsu smoothed his hand down Ivan’s arm. “Ivan, you may not understand this, but the world is just cruel. Sometimes it’s cruel to good people. For no reason. And that’s it.”  
“Why are we trying to protect a world like that?” Ivan sobbed.  
Kotetsu rolled over on his back and looked at the ceiling.

“Because there are still good people in it that need protection from a cruel universe.”

•••••

“I should have visited him.”  
“You don’t know that it would have helped, Ivan.”  
“I should have gone. I would have seen what state he was in and I could have gotten him help.”  
“No one knew what was going on, Ivan. Not even his parents.”  
“It didn’t have to... he didn’t have to...”  
Kotetsu grabbed Ivan’s shoulders. Kotetsu looked dead tired, but Ivan looked eight times as much. “You need to stop thinking like this. What ifs don’t matter now.”  
Ivan didn’t realize he still had tears in him.  
But he did.

•••••

“Tiger, I’m tired.”  
“Me too, kiddo.”  
“Tiger. Will you kiss me?”  
“No Ivan. Physical affection won’t make it hurt any less.” A pause. “I know this from experience.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“It’s late. Drink some tea, it’ll help you sleep.”  
“Everything hurts too much to sleep.”  
“I know.”

…

“You can do anything you want to me, Tiger.”  
“No, Ivan.”  
“Please.”  
“No.”  
“I just want to feel something _else. Anything_ else.”  
“Drink your tea and it’ll feel warm.”  
“Why doesn’t anything make sense? ”  
“Because that’s how it feels right before your body gives up and you finally fall asleep.”

•••••

“Kotetsu. Kotetsu. God, Kotetsu, get up!”  
“Wuh!?” Tiger said, leaning up fast in his bed. In the seconds it took him to come out of a sleepy stupor, he realized that the change in weight was Ivan rolling off of him.  
“Are you _sleeping_ with Ivan?” the figure at the end of his bed hissed.  
Kotetsu blinked, and after another moment of focus and his eyes adjusting to the dark, he realized it was Barnaby looking back at him.

“In the sense that we are both asleep in the same bed, yes. And only in that sense. How the hell did you get into my apartment?”

“It’s two AM and you haven’t answered your phone since ten.”

His partner sounded like a suspicious wife sometimes.

“That’s not an answer, Bunny.”

“I broke in.”

“Are you _insane_?”

•••••

“I’m sorry,” Barnaby said, pacing around the couch. “I just get worried, sometimes. Your phone’s never off.”

“Ivan’s best friend committed suicide,” Tiger said, voice mumbled with his head in his arms on the counter.

“Oh no. Oh no...” Barnaby moaned into his hands.

“Yes. And the poor kid has been a wreck and I wanted to be there for him so I turned my phone off after I talked to you _and you hung up on me if I remember correctly._ ”

“I’m sorry,” Barnaby repeated. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually like this.”

“I know that.”

“Tiger-?” Came a hoarse voice from the top of the stairs.  
“Ivan? Ivan, I’m sorry...”  
“What’s going on?” Ivan said, looking around, still confused. “I’m so thirsty.”  
“I’ll get you some water. You just stay right there.” Tiger hurried around the counter to fetch a glass.  
“I’m coming down,” he said. “I think... Edward died...didn’t...”  
Barnaby was the one who got to the top of the stairs in time to catch Ivan when it hit him that he hadn’t been dreaming.

•••••

“Why is this happening?” Ivan said, curled up with himself between Kotetsu and Barnaby on the couch.  
“Because bad things happen to good people, and things don’t always make sense,” Barnaby said, quiet and solemn.  
“I feel like my whole chest is going to break.”  
“It won’t,” Kotetsu said, grabbing Ivan’s water glass to refill it. “Mine didn’t,” he added.  
“Neither did mine,” Barnaby said.

“How does it get better?” Ivan asked.  
“Time,” Kotetsu and Barnaby said at the same time.

•••••

“You’re not going to be able to stay like that all night,” Kotetsu whispered.  
Barnaby looked up from the exhausted, red faced young man that had fallen asleep against him.  
“I can try,” He said, petting Ivan’s hair. “It’s nice to be the one being leaned on.”  
Tiger smiled. “He’s a lot like you were. After Jake died and you came over at two in the morning and cried on me.”  
Barnaby’s smile flickered, then he shook his head.  
“You let a lot of people lean on you, Kotetsu. I can see why. It feels good. To be needed.”  
Kotetsu smiled, ran his hands over Barnaby’s hair.  
“I give you twenty minutes sitting like that before your back gets tired.”  
“I’m not old. I think I can handle it.”

•••••

A half hour later, Ivan had been carefully propped on the couch and Barnaby was stretching his back.  
“I told you.”  
“Shut up, old man,” he replied with a grin.

 _Know it all._

**Author's Note:**

> The second part is really a set of chronological scenes about the next 18 hours than it is an actual second chapter. Sorry it's not very cohesive, just moments that Ivan wrestles with as he waits to wake up from his nightmare. =(


End file.
